You have probably heard of the phenomenon of the self-fulfilling prophecy. In a nutshell, in its negative sense, it says that whatever we fear will happen will probably happen if we believe it will and if our behaviors reflect this.
This counter-intuitive principle plays out in many areas of our lives, none more so than our romantic relationships. The intuitive notion is to believe that if we spend our lives trying to avoid a certain eventuality, or trying to prevent a certain behavior in others, our efforts will be rewarded. Often though, we end up getting exactly what we were trying to avoid.
Imagine you are sitting with your woman and she mentions about the new guy who started in her job. You think nothing of it, but over the next couple of weeks, she brings him up in conversation regularly. She talks about the things they are collaborating on, or how "he's so funny". It starts to get to you, and eventually gets the better of you. You snap, and say something like, "you're talking a lot about him these days, what's going on", or even worse, "you talk so much about him, why don't the two of you start seeing each other".
You've seen it in Hollywood movies. You've seen it in sitcoms. It may even have had a happy ending. But in real life, it does not end well. In that moment, your standing in your woman's eyes has taken a big blow. You have demonstrated that you are too easily affected by your woman's interactions with other men. She has not mentioned that this guy has hit on her, or has asked her out, yet your insecurity could still be triggered.
She now knows that she cannot mention other men around you, but even worse, she now feels that you have an underlying insecurity or jealousy that will permeate the relationship.
If this is a once-off, then the damage may be limited, and you have an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and re-establish your sense of self-assuredness and security in her eyes.
But if it's something that is happening often, or if you react every time a man talks to her in public or in social settings, then the self-fulfilling prophecy becomes far more likely.
She may not, ultimately, go ahead and cheat or do anything inappropriate. But her resentment and disappointment at your insecurity may make the relationship something that she no longer wants.
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